


love me as though there were no tomorrow

by scoutishere



Series: Lesbians in Space [1]
Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Drunk Dancing, Drunken Kissing, F/F, First Kiss, Getting Together, Making Out, Mutual Pining, Pining, just some sweet kinda angsty but mostly nice lupcretia for you this evening, mature for alcohol and drug use and kinda mature themes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-07
Updated: 2019-08-07
Packaged: 2020-08-11 16:11:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20156386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scoutishere/pseuds/scoutishere
Summary: Perhaps it was the years of being the only women on the StarBlaster crew. Lucretia had Magnus, and Lup had Barry, but neither Magnus nor Barry knew that feeling of being a woman who loves women, that specific tender part of both of them that needed each other. […] Magnus couldn’t understand that. Barry couldn’t understand that. Nor could Taako, Merle, or Davenport. But Lup could hold her as she read her books until late at night, Lup’s hands coming to wrap around her waist. And when she begins to cry, Lup just holds her close, lets her let it out. She doesn’t tell her to stop, but cries with her, breathes with her, squeezes her hand, and holds her.have you ever wondered how two gay girls can pine for each other for nearly half a century? here's that for you.(lup is scared of real intimacy. lucretia is in love. a sober kiss has to come sometime.)





	love me as though there were no tomorrow

Lup and Lucretia were not close friends back at their home planet. That much Lucretia does remember. 

But she can’t remember for the life of her how they got here: Lup’s long, golden hair draped over Lucretia’s thighs as she lays in her lap, looking up at Lucretia with wide, big eyes. Gods, they were just such beautiful eyes, deep and brown and kind and wild. She does not remember why or how she hoisted Lup up by the fabric of her shirt, and she does not remember why or how she kissed Lup, quick and gentle, in the moonlight of her bedroom window. 

Lucretia supposes it was not totally random. There were plenty of things that led to this moment. Perhaps it was the years of being the only women on the StarBlaster crew. Lucretia had Magnus, and Lup had Barry, but neither Magnus nor Barry knew that feeling of being a woman who loves women, that specific tender part of both of them that needed each other. 

And there were certain things that connected them, so often that Lucretia thinks she’d go crazy on this mission if it weren’t for having Lup there. Like on Cycle 14, when Lucretia was doing field research in a larger civilization, with cities, places of education, but had been shocked when she was turned away from scholarly circles for being a woman. Sexism wasn’t just something that existed in her original world, but on multiple planes. When Lup and Lucretia found worlds and planets that did not hold hierarchy for race, gender, and sexuality, they were relieved, but those times when it was otherwise the difference affected Lucretia. It would wear her down, and she would not speak or complain, but just show up in the morning in the kitchen having had no sleep, or she wouldn’t eat. All she would do was read. 

Magnus couldn’t understand that. Barry couldn’t understand that. Nor could Taako, Merle, or Davenport. 

But Lup could hold her as she read her books until late at night, Lup’s hands coming to wrap around her waist. And when she begins to cry, Lup just holds her close, lets her let it out. She doesn’t tell her to stop, but cries with her, breathes with her, squeezes her hand, and holds her. 

(Later that year, when Lup comes crying to Lucretia’s bed at night, Lucretia simply lifts the sheets and allows the taller woman to slot in next to her. Lucretia wipes her tears away with gentle, soft hands. Lup holds those hands clasped to her chest when she falls asleep.)

But there is more. Little times, throughout the century… Usually drunken. One time, though, Lucretia did not feel like drinking when everyone else was, just allowed herself to be sober as Lup, Taako, Magnus and Barry grow drunk around her, each of them drinking moonshine homemade by some nearby dwarves in Cycle 33. They all sit on the deck of the StarBlaster, and Lup is laughing at something Lucretia doesn’t remember. Although she is not intoxicated, Lucretia looks at Lup’s cute, toothy smile, and gives her a smile back, bemused. 

Lup had been the first to call her “Lucy.” She had always been so affectionate towards Lucretia, so loving. When the others called her weird and a loner, Lup treasured her, comforted her, made her laugh. For a few years straight in the second decade, Lup and Lucretia made breakfast together every day -- which really was Lucretia sitting on the counter near the stove and choosing music for Lup and tasting things that Lup asked her to. Lup had said Lucretia was a great taste-tester, but Lucretia thinks it’s just her flattery, or maybe it’s her way of justifying spending every morning together. 

On that night on Cycle 33, Lup had grabbed her hand, and setting down her drink on a table, dragged her inside of the StarBlaster, and kissed her, hard. Lup’s hand lay on Lucretia’s chest, between her breasts, and she pushes her flat against the wall. The tile feels cool on her back, and everything else in her body is hot as the sun. 

She remembers halfway through the kiss, through the taste of vodka still lingering on Lup’s (soft, warm) lips, that Lup is drunk, and it is not the time. Besides, she does not want to ever take advantage of her friend like that. Even if her friend is the love of her life, too. Gently, she pushes Lup off, and on Lup’s face is an expression that quickly morphs from confusion to embarrassment. 

“Shit. Sorry, Lucretia, I- I guess I misunderstood,” and Lup’s beginning to turn away, her voice sounding broken, before Lucretia grabs her wrist, stopping her abruptly. Looking a bit bewildered, Lup turns back to look at her. 

Lucretia swallows. God, she wishes she was a little drunk right now. “I, uh. Lup. I didn’t… I didn’t push you away because I don’t like you. I mean, I… I pushed you away because you are drunk, and I would never take advantage of you, because I fucking care about you, Lup,” she says, a little more forcefully than she intends to, and Lup looks her in the eyes, searching. 

She watches Lup’s throat as she gulps in front of her. Lucretia’s entire being is screaming for her to stop being such an idiot, and that she may have just messed up the best opportunity she could or would get for a while, before Lup steps forward and wraps her in a hug. She blinks, and then wraps her arms around Lup’s waist. She can feel Lup burrow into her shoulder. “I fucking care about you too, Lucy,” she says, sweetly and honestly, and it makes Lucretia’s cheeks burn. 

Magnus, Taako, and Barry are playing some music from a speaker outside, and Lucretia can hear it from outside, faintly, and Lup is swaying them back and forth a bit, and they’re dancing. It’s not graceful, because Lup is pretty tipsy, and Lucretia never claimed to be a dancer, but it makes Lucretia smile to dance with her girl. Her’s. 

When Lucretia finally tucked a very exhausted, half-conscious Lup into her bed that night, she thought about staying, briefly. But… no, she couldn’t, and Lup’s kiss was just a drunken mistake. Dancing with her was nice, that was undoubtable. But she could not risk Lup not feeling the same when she was sober. 

Unfortunately, Lup only kissed her when she was intoxicated, one way or another. They would be at a nightclub in one of the more populated cities, and Lup would pull her in for a dance, sweaty and electrifying and heady, and once, Lup pulled her to a corner, and kissed her like the world was going to end. She was shocked, frozen in the crowd of people, but kissed back, her teeth clinking against Lup’s own and Lup’s tongue licking into her mouth. Lup crowds her against the wall and they kiss, and they kiss, and Lucretia wakes up in her own bed the next morning with a pounding head and no semblance of memory of the day before. 

Or when the entire crew got stoned that one time on Cycle 41 on the deck, courtesy of a Barry, Magnus and Merle chemistry/weed collab, and a cool bong Taako had found at a local shop. And a couple hours into the darkness, when Merle, Davenport, and Taako are all sleeping, and Magnus had passed out on the bench on the deck hours ago, Lucretia and Lup lay on the wood floor of the deck staring at the stars above them. Lucretia had wrapped Lup’s hand in her own, intertwining their fingers, and Lup tapped little rhythms against the skin of Lucretia’s hand. Lucretia loves Lup’s hands. 

Lucretia loves Lup’s mouth, too. And a little wordlessly, Lucretia watches at Lup brings her hand over to her full lips, kissing Lucretia’s palm gently. Her body shook, but she had leaned forward, and their heads were but a couple inches away from each other. Lup’s eyes were cool and burning at the same time, and she wore a slight smile on her face, looking at Lucretia’s lips. They kiss until their mouths are too dry to continue, and then fall asleep, waking up with the sun the next morning. 

Countless times, Lucretia has kissed Lup. But never once was it fully vulnerable. Time and time again, Lucretia found herself waking up with her bed empty, and her heart aching. But what was she supposed to do? She was helpless, in love, and could not fall out of love with Lup if she tried. 

But this night is different. It’s a cooler planet than most, filled with water and rainy days and even snow and ice. Lucretia always leaves her window open, even in the cold, because she likes the fresh air. It means she gets sick more often than the rest of the crew, but Lup knows that to Lucretia it’s worth it, because it means she can hear the wildlife outside as she wakes up. She loves the sound of birds in the morning. 

And they are sitting on Lucretia’s bed, where Lucretia had originally just been drawing, and Lup lounging, and it had changed from that to Lucretia playing with Lup’s hair, and then they were so close, their faces only inches away from each other. She sees Lup’s wide, brown eyes flicker to her lips, and the fact that she knows Lup is not intoxicated at all makes her feel like a moray eel, stumbling and electric. She brings a hand up to pass over Lup’s chin, running her thumb below Lup’s cheek. Lup looks at her as if she is worth something. 

And they’re kissing, and it’s gentle, gentler than they ever have been. Lup is more nervous than usual, Lucretia can tell, because she’s shaking a bit under Lucretia’s touch. Lucretia silently wonders if Lup has been thinking about them as much as she has. She hopes so. 

They kiss, and they kiss, and they kiss, Lucretia tangling her hands in Lup’s soft, gold hair, and Lup’s hands running over Lucretia’s body, making her sigh and tingle as if Lup’s hands are real magic. Because it’s late, Lup eventually falls asleep, and Lucretia, a night owl, stays awake as long as she can. But within an hour she’s asleep, Lup’s arms settled comfortably around her waist. 

And when the morning comes, she does not leave.

**Author's Note:**

> oh my god soft
> 
> please leave a comment if you also love these two together,, i can't get them out of my mind,, they're just so sweet


End file.
